Log in

No account? Create an account
entries friends calendar profile Previous Previous Next Next
The Lure - Cinemaholic Movie Reviews
one person's obsessive addiction to film
The Lure
Directing: C
Acting: B-
Writing: C
Cinematography: B
Editing: C-
Special Effects: B+

The Lure starts promising, if you like foreign films that can best be described as "fucking weird." And I'm always open to that. This one's about creepy murderous mermaid sisters who get jobs at a Warsaw nightclub. The biggest surprise, maybe, is that it's actually a musical. As in, not only are there scenes with live acts in the club performing songs, but there are actual sequences in which characters randomly break out into song, like your average musical.

This is not your average musical. The music is actually pretty catchy, at first. But, like virtually every other element of this film's production, it gets tired at best at around halfway through the film. This would be the point at which I would say I lost all patience for it, when the story just goes off the rails.

Fun foreign weirdness is one thing. The Lure offers things you've never seen in other movies, I'll give it that. These mermaids have no genitalia when their fish tails turn into pelvises and legs. They don't even have butt cracks. It's an odd sight to see indeed. But then, this is before you see fish tails literally clad in fishnet stockings, the two mermaid sisters sitting for a professional photo shoot. Or a lesbian love scene between a human woman and a mermaid. This movie contains some images I'd rather like to scrub from my memory.

It's never especially disgusting, mind you. It just gets so strange as to become mind-boggling, in ways that veer far off from any course resembling plot. It got to a point where I had no idea what was going on anymore, and director Agnieszka Smoczynska apparently just wanted to come up with fucked up imagery to show us, like the club's pseudo-matriarch nursing the two mermaids in a dream sequence.

The makeup and effects are pretty effective. These are not your standard mermaids. From the waist up at least, the two sisters are indeed very pretty. Their fish tails are almost gag-inducingly realistic. These aren't the shimmery fish scales that you're used to seeing. The kind of look more like giant eels from the waist down. These are dirty mermaids, who like to feast on people. Their teeth turn sharp and they like to tear out necks and hearts.

The story, such as it is, concerns one of the sisters falling for a band member in the club. There's a bit of exposition about folklore regarding the falling in love with a human, and if said human winds up marrying someone else. That results in the mermaid being turned into sea foam, apparently -- unless she eats him, I mean. Of course! So will young Silver (her sister's name is Golden) sacrifice herself, or eat her beloved? I'm on the edge of my seat!

Not really. Long before that question was answered, I stopped caring. The story was rendered incoherent, and the songs went from catchy to wooden. A pretty good amount of creativity went into this production, but they front-loaded it into the first half hour. For the next hour, you frequently find yourself thinking, What the fuck? There's a moment when, out of nowhere, the aforementioned matriarch's husband starts dancing weirdly, in a spotlight that comes out of nowhere, in his living room for five minutes. I couldn't tell you what the purpose of that was if my life depended on it.

The Lure had great potential, and it was quickly squandered. People who are into movies that are bizarre for the sake of being bizarre might enjoy it. Call me crazy but I like a story that retains a bit of sense. This movie ends with none.

Marta Mazurek and Michalina Olszanska keep things weird in THE LURE.

Overall: C+
Leave a comment